Love I never knew
by SonikkuRushX
Summary: If there is pain, nurse it, and if there is a flame, don't snuff it out, don't be brutal with it. Withdrawal can be a terrible thing especially in a line of work of being a police officer. For our favorite bunny cop, this feeling is going to become all too common. But what becomes of those feelings when the person you had called friend, isn't the same anymore. A new recruit learns.
1. With love, comes loss

**"I think anyone who opened their heart enough to love without restraint and subsequently were devastated by loss knows that in that moment you are forever changed; a apart of you is no longer whole. Some will never again love with that level of abandon where life is perceived as innocent and the threat of loss seems implausible. Love and loss, therefore, are linked."**

Nick's eyes lay halfway open, his fur and uniform stained with tears and sorrow. Completely lost in sadness he stared at the sight beside him. There lay Judy, her shallow breaths and the beeping machines adding to the ambiance. Nick quietly sobbed and continued to stare upon her unconscious form. "...Carrots...I hope you can't hear me… would be pretty embarrassing if you saw the big bad wolf sobbing like a baby….never let them see that they get to you...yea right.." He sat in silence a moment more knowing that even the embarrassment of him crying his eyes out would be worth it. "Wake up carrots...wake up…"

Feeling more tears coming on, he set the roses on the nightstand and proceeded out of the room. Many officers attempted to comfort Nick as he walked through the lobby. Like a grenade, he growled and each and everyone of them backed off, even Chief Bogo was surprised at such an action. That drive home was unbearable for even the toughest mammal. NIck found himself head first into the steering wheel every time he felt that rush of emotions. Many times did he startle himself with the honk of his cruiser's horn, and many more was he startled by the horn other drivers impatiently waiting for him to adhere to the green light. He couldn't risk driving any more, it was too risky in his state he realized, not to mention the 2 or 3 times he gently swayed his cruiser toward a lingering ditch on the side of the road. No, that wasn't the way he needed to think, it would only worry judy more than he ever could.

Safely parked and well into the complex of apartments, he stared at his door with an almost lost gaze. He flashed back to the day he offered Judy the apartment just across from his. It was nicer, bigger, and somehow cheaper than the small little bunny hole she had when she first joined the academy. Would she be able to call it home again he thought. Only time would tell. That night, he sat in his bed, unable to sleep, still flashing back to what happened days prior.

 _(5 days ago)_

The sound of gunshots echoed through the air again and again as civilians suddenly scattered from the area. 2 police cars sat in front of the Zootopia bank receiving hit after hit from pistol rounds. 3 suspects, A white timber wolf, and 2 pigs, sat behind pillars just in front of the entrance of the bank holding their ground against the few police officers on scene. 2 officers sat just behind the hood of their vehicle while another puma lay across the way behind the hood of his. "This is officer Hopps on the scene, 3 suspects sighted at the Zootopia baah!" she screamed as bullet grazed the top of the the hood. "Nick, officer Tucker, get them suppressed! I say again, this is officer Hopps reporting in, 3 suspects sighted in front of the Zootopia baaahh!" she screamed as another bullet grazed just above her. "Oh that's it!" she said as she leaned out of her cover and fired a few rounds at one of the unsuspecting pigs. Eventually she was able to disable him with a hit to the leg before returning to her report. "Code 132 at the Zootopia bank, We're engaged and returning fire, please advise."

"You're not hurt are you Judy?"

"We're fine for now Clawhauser."

"Oh good, You're just so cute and cuddly, I don't know what i'd do if you got hurt."

"Clawhauser, the backup."

"And I mean just look at that nose."

Judy sighed. "Clawhauser, the backup please."

"Oh right right. Backup is on it's way."

Nick tapped Judy on her shoulder making her spin around in fear. "Someone's a little jumpy."

"We're getting shot at, what did you expect?"

"Well Clawhauser seemed awfully concerned."

"Don't you start Nick."

"I just think he's a really nice guy."

"We're not talking about this now or later Nick, just find a way around this would ya?"

"I would but that wolf leader of theirs is pretty handy with his aim, almost took me out 2 times actually. We're not getting close for anything, unless you could go invisible or something.."

"What about Tucker?"

"Oh yea is he ok?"

"So much for teamwork Nick." she disappointedly stated before removing her radio. "Tucker, can you hear me?"

The puma responded from behind the car on the right side of the entrance to the bank. "Um...barely."

"Do you see a way to flank at all."

"Not on my side but I do see a statue on the left side though. Maybe that'll work."

Nick shifted to the left side of the car and peeked around. "Not enough cover behind that thing."

"For you guys maybe." Judy enthusiastically responded. "You guys cover me alright?"

"You sure about this carrots? That's a lot bullets between here and there. Did I mention their aim?"

"I'm the only one small enough to fit behind it and we need the advantage."

Nick groaned in disagreement. "Alright but be careful and please, lay down as many bullets as you can ok?"

"Yea yea I got it." Judy shifted around Nick as she began to make a run for it. "3….2….1...and.."

"Go!" Nick screamed as Judy hopped out of cover. Both him and Tucker fired with their lives as Judy sped like demon towards the statue. Eventually she made it allowing the two male officers to assume cover once again.

Judy returned her radio to her paw and spoke. "I got a good line of sight over here, now we just hold this defense until backup shows up."

"This is more of that Rabbit's luck huh?"

"How about Lady luck?"

"No, she doesn't belong here. Last time she was here, I lost 40 dollars."

"40 dollars that I happily spent."

"40 dollars that I will get back."

"Funny, shoot back and we'll discuss that arrangement."

"Done and done."

The shootout continued for another full 3 minutes until it was clear the gunshots had calmed down a little. Judy took note, quickly springing her attention back to the station. "Clawhauser, where's our backup?"

"Oh thank heavens you're still alive, I didn't hear anything for a while and…"

"Not the time Clawhauser."

"Uh right, down the street."

"Get the donuts ready then, we're bringing back a success."

"Looks like the big bad wolves are running out of ammo, less bullets flying."

Judy let out a sigh of relief as well as Tucker on the other side. "Good, let's subdue them and wait for the team to pull up."

"Roger that carrots, Tucker move up with me." Both Nick and Tucker made their way forward giving warning shots as a way to keep the enemies behind cover. Finally reaching the pillars, Tucker quickly rushed the two pigs to the ground cuffing them with minimal resistance. "Wait where's the wolf? Nick quickly noticed.

"How could he have escaped, he was right there?" Judy said as she watched the road.

"I don't know, that's what I'm-" Nick stopped as his arm was suddenly thrown behind his back, and another wrapped around his neck.

"Take another step and Mr. Wilde gets a little taste of his own medicine."

"How do-"

"Don't be surprised Wilde, everyone back home knows who you are."

"Do they-now? I can't imagine I've-done anything that amazing."

"You sure know how to play the innocent canine when your cop buddies are around don't ya?"

"How about you-let me go and you won't have- a face full of hurt, sound good?"

"What kind of joke are you playing Wilde? I got your precious gun aimed directly at your back and my finger firmly on the trigger."

Nick couldn't help but snicker. "And 3...2...1…"

A sudden sound of the wolf grunting made itself known as Judy's foot collided with his face. Like a rock he dropped to the ground unconscious. "Try watching your back better next time."

"Is letting you have the spotlight sometimes that bad, I knew you could handle it."

"You could've been seriously injured Nick, stop playing around."

Her eyes were obviously seething with a mix of worry and anger staring Nick down with what only could be described as a death stare. "Ok ok, sorry geez. Thank you for saving me at least, didn't know soft bunny paws were so effective."

"It's called a kick Nick, you could've done it too. And my paws are not soft."

"Sure they aren't, and giraffes aren't tall."

Judy only groaned in annoyance as 2 extra cars pulled up. Nick and Tucker were quick to shove the suspects into Tucker's cruiser with the usual resistance. Tucker was quick to offer, fairly quickly, to escort them back himself with one of the additional backup cruisers following close behind. Without a moment to spare, he was off like the wind.

Nick could only shake his head in utter disappointment before turning to the 2 lone officers still on site with their cruiser. "Me and carrots are gonna sweep the inside of the bank, we'll need you on standby just in case."

"Trying to hog all the glory again Wilde?" One of them retorted.

"Who me, no way."

He huffed at that statement. "Sure." He shot back.

They all nodded, Nick and Judy quickly taking their first steps back towards the bank when suddenly a call came to Nick's phone. Confused, he looked at Judy who place her hands at her sides in a frustrated motion. "I thought I told you to keep your phone off during the missions?"

"I...um, did."

"Say what?"

"My phone's on silent."

"Nick." She reinforced with a forceful tone.

"I'm serious this time really. He slowly but surely answered upon picking it up. "Hello?"

"Bye bye bunny…." The whispery voice stated before hanging up.

"What in the world?"

"Who was it?"

"Couldn't tell, they had a voice changer on."

"Well what did they say, it could be a clue to another crime if they tried so hard to disguise?"

"Bye bye bunny."

"Bye bye bunny?"

Suddenly that realization took hold. "Judy behind the pillar now."

"What's going on?"

"Just hide now."

As Nick pushed her behind cover, he quickly scanned around the surrounding area. The string of clothing stores just around the block, the park across the street, nothing. That is, until his eyes focused on the Office buildings a football field away, the glint of something on the upper floors caught his attention. "Nick you're being paranoid, there's nothing going on."

"Don't do this now carrots, trust me on this one."

"Let's just get into the bank and check on the people."

"No wait!" Everything seemed to slow down as Judy stepped into the small opening between the pillars and the entrance of the bank. A loud gunshot and glass breaking pierced the air, Nick was forced to throw his body directly in front of her's. That when he felt it, the pain shooting through his lower stomach and eventually his heart as he felt Judy's body shake in response. She dropped into his arms almost limp and lifeless, holding her own shoulder in pain and crying out in agony. "Carrots!" Within seconds he lept with judy in arms within the Banks walls, the two officers fleeing behind cover and calling in the origin of the shot. Nick, in his own amount of agony, got to his knees slowly before opening to Judy crying out over her shoulder. "No no, breath rabbit, breathe."

"Nick...it's….only a shoulder….it won't kill me….but it hurts so much…."

"Stay conscious Judy, just stay here with me. Stay...awake...Carr.." As much as Nick was trying to comfort her, his consciousness was also fading, the blood loss was much more significant in the area he was hit as the bullet seemingly went straight through. Both him and Judy collapsed in that moment, the two officers quickly make haste to get them to a hospital.

 _(2 days later)_

"Well Mr. Wilde." The doctor began, "You got quite lucky. It seems the bullet just barely grazed your intestine, by mere millimeters in fact. You should be back on your feet within a couple more of days of recuperation, better yet, you should be thankful you lived at all."

"And what about Judy?"

"Ms. Hopps? Well, it seems the shock was a bit different for her. She was affected far more by the situation and It was quite hard to get the wound under control for both of you because of how much blood you two were losing."

"Forget about me, what about her?!" he said grabbing him by the collar.

"Well we stabilized her and stopped the blood loss despite the significant scale in which you were both losing it. But the shock of the initial incident caused her to become delusional in it all. We were forced to induce a coma in order for her body to fully heal as well as her mind." Nick let out a sigh of relief as he released the doctor and dropped helplessly to his pillow. "Judging by that expression, you'll be eager to see her. Of course you'll have to wait until your time here is up Mr. Wilde. In the meantime keep calm, would you?"

The doctor soon shut the door allowing Nick to mentally drift into thought. It was then that he made the realization, the horrible realization who the voice over the phone was.

 _(Present Day)_

Nick continued to silently stare into space, the full moon backdrop to his continuous sorrow. "How could I let that happen?"


	2. With loss, comes grief

**"To deny one's own experiences is to put a lie into the lips of one's own life. It is no less than a denial of the soul."**

Nick had recovered only a day or two after his and Judy's injury. With the exception of staying out of field work, he was allowed to leave and continue working at a desk as to not reopen the wound. Judy however even after days of supposed healthy recovery refused to wake from her induced coma. The doctor was sure she would recover after only a few days of mental rest but the result only led to Nick becoming more worrisome. The days turned to a week, the week to 2 weeks and then to 3. Nick was still unable to sleep. Every single night she lay there unconscious was restless and stricken with grief while his days were wasted in exhaustion at his lonely desk. About a month in all has passed since the incident and unfortunately, this night had been no different from the others. She still hadn't woken from her slumber, and this much time thanks to a shoulder wound no less was slowly degrading Nick's psyche.

A bed he hadn't made in days, no weeks. An apartment he hadn't cleaned in that same time. It was light outside, just barely, that usual crack of dim blue light shining through the closed curtains. Nick sighed, another long unusual night. He had been up almost all of it, sleeping in sorrow for only 5 minutes before being awoken by a passing police siren. He sighed, not before growling to himself, as he got up from his bed and stretched. She would usually wake him up early in the morning, too early in fact. He threw on his uniform still unclean from many days past, thankfully not the entire month, and resumed out the door. In a way, he had lost sense of personal hygiene as if his entire life seemed to gain order and routine from Judy.

"Wilde." A voice uttered. Nick could hear the sounds of his name droning in but something was off. It sounded aggressive, angry even. "Wilde." It continued. Nick couldn't figure out the life of him why the voice seemed all too familiar. "For the love of...Officer Wilde!" Bogo yelled at the top of his lungs.

Without warning Nick shot up from his desk, drool covering the side of his face. It was then he noticed that had been asleep for more than half the day mumbling in his sleep. The long hours of unrest left completely dead in his day shift. The clock simply read 6:00 PM. He turned around to see Bogo glaring at him forcing his sad muzzle into a nervous smile. Quickly, he began the charade of typing on the keyboard as if he were doing work the entire time. "Nice day...we're having here chief, just thought I'd get a little nap in after I finished that big report you know….you know?"

"Wilde. In my office. Now." With much awkwardness, they made their way into Bogo's office where he closed the door with a slow and creeping click. The chief slowly tapped his finger on the desk as Nick attempted to stay as happy looking as possible. "Cut the act Wilde." Instantly Nick's fake smile dropped to a nonchalant frown. "Spit it out."

"I'm sorry?"

"What's going on? Ever since that bank robbery a month ago, you've been completely ignoring your work. You don't show up to work on time and when you do, you sleep it off."

Nick brought his eyes to meet the ground, his arms crossed. "I'm just...tired."

"Don't give me crap Wilde. Look...Is this about Judy?" Nick's eyes shot almost instantly, the concern burning a hole in the chief's caring pupils.

"No."

"I thought so. I had a feeling that was it."

"It...course it's it! She's been in the hospital, sleeping as if the world weren't here, as if I weren't here waiting for her to come back."

"You really care for her don't you? Tell you what, how does paid leave sound? You really need the time I think."

"I've had time to think chief, and I don't like where it's going. I'm taking off for now, pay me, fire me, I don't care." The drive home was mentally treacherous, the same as the night he visited her in the hospital. His thoughts swirled around the shootout, what went wrong, how he would have protected her. Eventually his eyes opened and he cast his gaze to the police badge he wore. It was a burden to be a cop now, especially after what he had done in days past. That wolf knew him, and not just some soft I knew you when you were selling pawsicles knew, he knew all about him. There was only one big operation that Nick ever participated in and it was the most regrettable decision of his life. He removed it and clenched it in his paw so much that it hurt. It was at this moment he decided. Without warning, he whipped a U-turn and headed for the hospital. His approach to the counter where the nurse sat seemed normal enough but he knew why he was here. "I'm here to see officer Judy Hopps."

"She's still out cold but go right in. If she wakes up, you'll be the first one she wants to see, i'm sure."

Nick cracked a smile at that comment but refused to hold it as he made his way into the back. Doctors shot the sympathetic glances with haste as he approached his destination. Judy's room, all the sleepless nights and drowsy days started here. All he had to do was make sure she was ok and that would be it right? Yet...the door to her room remained closed. "I can't...can I...I'm the one who got her hurt...maybe if I had pushed her out of the way, I would be the only one hurt. Dammit, I should've kept my eyes up!" He said as he pounded on the wall soliciting a couple of stares from passing doctors.

He nervously waved and watched as they returned to their original jobs. "What a strange fox." One of them uttered before walking off.

"Was I really that careless? That useless of a cop that I couldn't save one person?" Nick held his chest as a feeling swirled around inside like a thick murky substance. The more he questioned and doubted his feelings, the more it felt like he would drown from within. "Don't let them see, don't let them see…" Finally he composed himself, opening the door and stepping in. Thankfully over the course of that month, her breathing had become much more peaceful as if sleeping like any other night, yet she still hadn't woken. Nick sat next to the bed and once again stared upon her. "Hey there carrots...no flowers this time but...you can't hear me but I wanna say something. I know we're friends...I know we made the world a better place together but….I never really questioned my ability as a cop...until now...It was my fault...I was careless, I should've been looking out. I mean, i'm the fox here, I'm the one with the keen eye sight...and yet…" Nick paused as she began to move a little, his eyes widened and his mouth lay agape. Was this it, was she finally waking up. His dreams seemed to fade as she lessened into yet another motionless state. "You were close Hopps, so close, just wake up please, wake up. Show me that you want to come back." Silence...nothing...silence. Nick held his head low, his face falling upon her body as her warmth rushed around him. "Listen...I don't know if you can hear me but...I'm sorry for this. There's something I have to do and I don't think you're gonna like it. Goodbye carrots."

Nick exited the room with sorrowful eyes, his mind made up. Time had long passed and with a long loud yawn, Judy rose from the bed. Her eyes slowly drifted open and her shoulder immediately advanced in pain. "Ow...What happened? Did I...hear Nick."

A passing doctor took note of the now lively Judy, moving within the room and closing the door. "Oh Ms. Hopps, it's good to see you awake. How do you feel?"

"Like I hibernated twice in one season with a stick through my shoulder. What's going on?"

"You took a pretty nasty shot, clean through, to the left shoulder. Be glad the bullet missed any vital muscles or you'd be out of a working arm."

"Oh...ow...where's...was someone here a second ago?"

"Um...I'm not sure but I think I saw Nicholas Wilde leaving a few moments ago. He looked just about as sad as sad can get however."

"Nick was sad...for me? That's surprising actually. He always so goofy and nonchalant about everything."

"Oh indeed. He's been here at least every day since he was allowed to roam free which was about two days after the incident. That fox heals fast he does. As you can see behind you, he's left flowers for each week. I'd say you got yourself a keeper there."

Judy struggled but managed to take hold of one the bouquets, letting the scent roam through her being. "He really did that for me? Oh nick...wait there are a lot of flowers here, how long was I out?"

"A month I reckon."

"A month?! He must be worried sick, everyone must be worried sick."

"Then you'll be happy to know that the wound carefully healed over the course but we still need to check your mental health so you'll be here for another hour or two before you can be released."

Judy looked to the flowers and smiled. "Hopefully he's waiting for me."

Back near the precinct, Nick sat on the side of the building flicking his badge in the air. He stopped every few to look at it then tossed it again. "I'm really doing this? Is it the right? I know Hopps would say no...Bunnies..so emotional...and despite what I know she would say, here I am…Better not waste anymore then."

Those two hours had passed since then, most of it spent making sure Judy had recovered from the shock, thank the over concerned doctor but finally, she was released with a clean bill of health. To her surprise however, Nick was not there to pick her up as she imagined. She flipped open her phone and dialed him but came to no reply. Then she tried Clawhauser who picked up immediately. "Judy, I can't believe you're ok, you were in hospital so long and I thought you would never wake up!"

"It's nice to hear your voice too Clawhauser. Could you give me a ride up there?"

"Maybe you wanna take a day to get back into the swing of things."

"Being at the precinct would do just that too."

"I don't know if that's a good idea."

Judy raised one eyebrow. "What are you hiding Clawhauser, what happened?"

"...I'll come get you, you need to hear this in person."

Not even ten minutes later, Judy burst into Bogo's office and hopped on his desk. "Nick did what?!"

"Glad to see you made it out ok officer Hopps. I guess you heard."

"How could he resign?! Doesn't he know what his job means to him..to me!"

"Hopps calm down. It's not the end of the world."

"I just don't understand why he would do something like this. The amount of elephant sized stuff we went through just to get him here."

"Hopps, he just needs a little time to get his head together. I'm sure he'll come around even faster when he learns you're awake."

"Oh cheese and crackers, you're right. You're right you're right!" Judy was frantic to race out of the room, tripping out of the chair and rocketing out the door.

She wasted no time in quickly leaving the building, hopping in the squad car and shutting the door. Her mind raced rapidly, a million reasons raced through her mind of why, what, when and where but there was no time for that. She ignored basically all red lights in her haste. "How could he quit….I just don't understand...what was his reason...did I somehow offend him, maybe mentioned the predator thing in my exhaustion...no no, we're already over that…" After what seemed like minutes of nothing but pure speeding, probably tons of speeding tickets, Judy whipped into her parking spot like a cheetah, shot up the stairs and to Nick's apartment door. A moment to catch her breath, then a deep breath. She was inches from knocking when suddenly her phone lit up, and on it, Nick's picture. With extreme haste she answered. "Nick! Oh Nick i'm so glad to hear from you!"

"Hey Hopps...Glad to see you're out of the hospital. You finally came back to the world of the living huh?"

"Hopps?" she said in a concerned tone. "What happened to carrots?"

"Listen Judy...I need to say something."

"Why do you sound so serious?" She nervously chuckled.

"It's really good to hear your voice…"

"Nick, what's wrong with you? Come on, let's officially celebrate our release."

"Judy, this entire situation is my fault."

"Come again?"

"If I had thought to push you instead of cover you, you wouldn't be hurt. Any top of the line cop would've noticed that sniper...this is a sign Judy, a sign that maybe the law isn't my calling after all, not if I can't protect those I care about."

"Nick please, you're blowing this way out of proportion..."

"Blowing this way out of proportion? My past is coming back to haunt me and everyone around me. I can't risk this any more."

The call was suddenly cut off, Judy's eyes widening at that fact. "Nick!..Nick! No please tell me what happened!" She entered her own apartment, quickly sinking her face into the sheets as she began to yell, her muffled screams echoing throughout the apartment. "What is his issue right now, I'm back and healthy, the entire reason he's doing this. "She sighed, rolling over to lay on her back. Her sleep was restless, tiring if that even makes sense. No sleep led her to take the day off sleeping half the day then walking the streets with a glum look on her face the rest of the afternoon. Her first choice was, of course, the park. The closest one however, was that near the bank robbery. She had to clear her head but she didn't feel like driving halfway across town either. "No choice…" She pulled up to the parking lot and exited the vehicle. The sound of kids playing, the breeze on her ears, it would be perfect. Unfortunately that wouldn't be the case for there sat a familiar face, a sad frown on his muzzle. When she realized who it was, she couldn't contain her excitement. She rushed to his side like a giddy school girl, wrapping her arms around his neck and screaming out, "Nick, I'm so glad I found you!"

"J-Judy?-you're choki-"

Judy stopped instantly, letting go of Nick's neck in her realization. She also noted the constant use of any other name besides carrots was unlike Nick. At this point, she couldn't tell who she was talking to. "Hopps? What happened to good old carrots huh?"

"Judy, that robbery was-"

"Are we still on that really? Nick, we're police officers, it's our line of work. We're constantly in danger all the time and all to make zootopia a better place"

"Who cares about everyone when those close to me are hurt instead? Judy, you got hurt because of me...I don't want that happening again."

"Oh cheese and crackers, listen to me Nick, we are police officers. We put ourselves in harm's way so others don't have to. You and me both signed up for that when we joined."

"That's just it Judy. Seeing you get hurt like that...made me question the reason I took that oath. I signed to protect zootopia but I also…" He stopped, his eyes drifting into the sky.

"M-me…"

"Seeing you hurt is like nothing I've ever felt before."

"What is resigning going to fix Nick?"

"Protecting you."

* * *

A young asian golden cat sat in front of the precinct, her eyes scanning the building in a nervous fit. "I can't believe it." she uttered in a heavy chinese accent. "I'm here...i'm actually here. Just calm yourself Mia, it's ok. You're the first to join the force and it's a bit scary, but you can do this. No more waiting, _Jiùshì zhège,_ I'm going in."


	3. Chapter 1: Fate with a badge

**I am the police, and I'm here to arrest you. You've broken the law. I did not write the law. I may even disagree with the law but I will enforce it. No matter how you plead, cajole, beg or attempt to stir my sympathies, nothing you do will stop me from placing you in a steel cage with gray bars. If you run away I will chase you. If you fight me I will fight back. If you shoot at me I will shoot back. By law I am unable to walk away. I am a consequence. I am the unpaid bill. I am fate with a badge and a gun. Behind my badge is a heart like yours. I bleed, I think, I love, and yes I *can* be killed. And although I am but one man, I have thousands of brothers and sisters who are the same as me. They will lay down their lives for me, and I them. We stand watch together. The thin-blue-line, protecting the prey & predators, the good from the bad. We are the police.**

The cold winter wind howled through my fur despite the warmth of the sun, which was unfortunately setting in the distance. My eyes scanned the infamous and world renowned Zootopia police department in a obvious nervous fit. "I can't believe it. I'm here...i'm actually here." _My heart is pounding so hard I can barely hear anything else. When I joined the academy, the instructor made it clear that anyone looking to go directly to the Zootopia department had a 1 in 100 chance of doing so, which is a bit surprising considering I live in one of the districts anyway. But to think that I would actually be stationed here, where the one and only Judy Hopps worked its…_ I took a deep breath. "Just calm yourself Mia, it's ok. You're the first to join the force in the family and it's a bit scary, but you can do this. **_Jia mu_** is counting on me. Don't worry mother, no more waiting,I won't let you down. **_Jiùshì zhège_** , I'm going in."

My eyes were drawn to the various new wonders around the precinct. _Wow...it's quite the sight in here._ My eyes drifted to the walls, then the floor, then the ceiling. It was all so big and expansive, especially to me considering I'm not exactly on the tall side compared to most of my family. It's almost funny, being so small, yet considered a predator. Me eyes continued to wonder, the reception desk was sitting directly center of everything, a rather chubby cheetah sitting happily at the mercy of a few donuts. Offices of unknown nature painted both upstairs and downstairs, I'm sure everyone is happy to have their own little corner to sit down. "Yoohoo!"

My train of thought was broken when the cheetah drew my attention. He waved endlessly with a smile that could cure any illness. Honestly I was quite surprised, but it was good to see a friendly face so far from home. I approached the desk making sure to carefully avoid the many passing animals, until finally I was within speaking range. "Um...hello."

"O...M...Goodness, you are adorable."

My eyes shot wide, a compliment of that degree and we just met. I placed my gaze at the floor and even I could tell I was blushing like an idiot. "R-really?!" I couldn't help but turn around and just collect my thoughts. "Do I say thank you? Maybe he has a thing for you now? Could it love at first sight, but I'm not ready yet."

"Uh actually you were standing at the entrance with that look on your face, you know the shock and awe one."

"Oh my, I'm sorry. I'm kinda hard on jumping to conclusions. I thought for a second I was going to have to buy a ring and set up a wedding but before that, we must have a bachelorette party and we absolutely have to invite the dancing tigers from Gazelle's show and..."

"Hey slow down there, I say that to all the cute animals. I'm Clawhauser by the way."

"Mia Ling, pleased to meet you."

"Now that I listen, you seem very different from most of the animals I've met. You're from the Sahara district aren't you?"

 _I wonder if he hasn't heard of the new district yet._ "Um, no. It's m-my height isn't it...I know it's unnatural for someone of my species to be this short but it's not like I can control it."

"No your accent."

"O-oh my...I'm actually from the Bamboo District."

"The who and a what now?"

 _Seems I was right._ "The Bamboo District was newly introduced a year ago for those living in the lush greenery of the eastern lands, more so those who lived the bamboo forests."

The cheetah gasped as if a bell had been rung. "You mean to tell me...that there's a district full of animals with cute accents like yours?"

My blush returned with a striking vengeance. "Y-yes…"

"I am so going there. Anyway, if you're looking for a start to your first day, then head to the left just back there."

" **Xièxiè.** "

"What?"

"Oh uh, it means thank you."

"Bilingual too, you're gonna get all the cases."

I waved goodbye to the cheetah as I began to walk to my first day. I can't help but admit that he has a charm. But I only got a few inches away when I felt my body suddenly bounce back, not from bumping into a huge animal mind you, it was a small force. I turned and suddenly, my eyes were stars. My words seemed to be failing me and my body language was all over the place. "E-excuse m-me mam, a-are y-you by chance….Ms. Judy Hopps?

The bunny turned to face me, her smile painting a window into my soul where only a shred of starstruck remained. "Uh yea, first bunny cop in all of Zootopia at your service."

"My name is...um...Mia...Mia Ling, first Asian golden cat in my family to enlist."

"Wow, you're making history already. By the way, I wasn't sure whether it would offend you or not but your accent is very different. You're from the Bamboo district aren't you?"

"Y-yes, actually I am. Although according to Clawhauser I'm from the Sahara district.

Judy chuckled "I'll admit, he's not the brightest."

"R-really, I found it charming a little."

This comment of mine seemed to spark something in her, a twitch of some sort. "Anywho, I actually need to talk to Clawhauser, so i'll see you on the road hopefully.."

"Right, I'll let you get back to work."

Judy made her way around me and hopped firmly on the desk. I made it my slight mission to observe a bit, nosy I know, but that twitch was curious. "And just where were you?"

I could hear Clawhauser's voice stutter and trip, almost as if he was caught. "Well I-you see-it was."

"Don't tell you got lost in another box of donuts."

"Hypothetically speaking, if I did, what would happen?"

"I'd be mad."

"Oh, that's not what happened then."

"Clawhauser, I was expecting you to be there."

"I know I know, I just didn't think you really needed me."

Judy's sigh was proof enough that something was going on between them. "I told you already that doesn't bother me any more. That was a year ago, I don't where he is, and I don't care."

I wondered. "Who is he?"

Feeling I had overstayed my welcome, I quickly snuck off towards the briefing room. Upon entering, I was met with the sight of animals big and small. A tiger and a bear were arm wrestling among a dozen others watching and cheering. I quickly made my way to an open seat, obviously not catered to my size and waited patiently. The door on the opposite side of the room opened and in walked a rather angry looking buffalo. His scowl could kill a full grown lion if he wanted to. "Alright settle down, all of you." A quick look around made him give a questioning yet annoyed look. "I said settle down!" Quick wasn't a word to describe how fast these animals jumped within their seats. **_Wǒ dehuà_** _, he must be scary all the time._ "Thank you, now let's get down to business. First off, Regi." he said as he eyed a confused wolf who had a look of slight fear, as if he were about to be scolded. "Congratulations on the wedding." Everyone was fast to cheer the wolf on as well. "Settle down settle down, we're not done here. Second on the list, we have a new recruit. If you would please identify yourself.

 _Oh no…_ I stood up on the seat, which wasn't enough of course. After transitioning to the table and turning to face the rest of the officers. I couldn't move, frozen like a board in the freezing cold outside. _They're all looking at me, looking at the lowly little cat screwing up a simple greeti-no, don't think like that, mother told you what always comes of that. Take a deep breath and just spit it out._ I let the air fill my lungs and then, exit them slowly. "My name...is Mia Ling, it's very nice to meet you." I shot out with a speed that should have been inaudible. To my surprise however, the animals greeted me back, some even commented on my accent. I felt a little hope shine back inside my heart and sat down with a smile.

"Now that everyone's acquainted, time to dish out the work. Regi and Pharah, patrol Savannah Square, Suez and Albert, Tundra town, Sanchez and Diane, Rainforest District, Timo, Little Rodentia, Kiley, Bamboo district, and our newest recruit…" he trailed off. My eyes shined with a curiosity, a hope deep within that maybe I'd get exactly what I needed. "Parking duty."

My eyes still shined with determination but suddenly, I had formed a frown. "I'm sorry, parking duty?"

"Just kidding." he said with a slight smirk. I couldn't contain my relief as I let out a loud sigh. "You'll be patrolling Savannah Central with one of our more experienced officers."

"Oh thank you sir."

"Don't get excited, I'm keeping you close to home to keep an eye on you, so I don't need to see you going off on any crazy cases above your pay grade got it?"

"Yes sir."

"Briefing dismissed, Mia stay a moment while I go and get your gear."

I couldn't begin to explain how happy I was. My first patrol and I didn't even know who my partner was, it's spontaneous to say the least. I wondered if it'd be a predator like me, or even someone a little on short side. Waiting was not on my list of thoughts. After receiving my taser, pepper spray, the essentials, I exited the room and made my way back to the lobby. Coming within proximity of the reception desk, I was almost immediately greeted by Clawhauser. "Soooo, what'd you get?"

"Patrolling Savannah Central."

"Oh, Bogo must be worried about his new officer. He really cares deep down in that tough buffalo heart."

"I can imagine so. I'm supposed to have a partner apparently to."

"Where is the lucky animal?"

"He didn't specify."

"Hey Clawhauser, can I get like 2 donuts." Judy's voice echoed in. "Bogo's got me patrolling Savannah Central this time." I internally gasped. No way, no way I'm patrolling for the first time with the best cop to ever grace the walls of the ZPD. "Oh hey Mia, how was the briefing?"

"It was ok." I quickly said. "S-sorry."

"No need to apologize, it's your first assignment, I was nervous too."

"No you weren't." Clawhauser butted in. "You were about as excited as a kid on sugar."

"I'm trying to build her confidence here."

"Oh, my bad." he said with an apologetic smile.

"Did Bogo make that meter maid joke."

"Y-yes, it was...a bit unnerving at first."

"He does that all the new officers now, it's become a tradition of a sort. My guess is he's got you patrolling right."

I nodded. "Savannah Central I believe."

"Hey what do you know, that's awesome cause I'm patrolling there too. We're gonna be partners." _Don't faint, don't faint, don't daint...dont…and fainting._ "Uh Mia, you ok? M-mia?"

I awoke to the sound of Judy's voice, spiraling me into the same mental hyperventilating I was already going through. "W-wha...Judy?"

"Take a second to come to."

I could hear Clawhauser chuckling a bit, obviously with donut in mouth. "Seems you got yourself a fan Judy."

"Funny Clawhauser, funny." she uttered.

With my feet finally under me, I shook my head and came back to reality. "Oh no, did I faint again?"

"Tiny bit." Clawhauser answered.

"Stupid stupid stupid, **Nǐ yòu zuòle zhège báichī** , you idiot."

"Hey calm down calm down, it's alright. Everyone is nervous on their first day."

"Oh yea, um sorry about that."

"You know I just noticed something, you two are adorable side by side." Clawhauser happily stated.

 _I question what kind of precinct this is sometimes?_ Judy was quick to throw her hands up in fear and shook her head. "No no no, we are not adorable Clawhauser, don't get any ideas."

"I have to get a picture."

"W-why."

"You and her and have to hug, trust me."

"What? We're not even an hour into knowing each other, why would we hug?"

"Guess you don't want these donuts then."

"Oh do not."

"Please…"

"Clawhauser..."

"Please? Just one time?"

Judy looked to me with uncertain eyes, and I with even more confused ones. "Clawhauser I swear. Alright fine we'll hug but only one though, alright?"

"You have got yourself a deal."

"Let's get this over with Mia."

"I d-don't know..."

"Just one ok, he won't stop asking until we do it."

"Ok...just one…"

We both moved awkwardly towards each other watching as Clawhauser got more and more excited the closer we got. Even as starstruck as I was, the awkwardness was all in one, felt by both of us in mass. We wrapped our arms around each other and squeezed. I could feel the heat radiating from the bunny and for a moment, I felt a bit comfortable with the endeavor. That was broken however when a flash caught our attention. Upon popping one eye open, there was Clawhauser with his phone. "That was so adorable! New wallpaper set."

Judy gave Clawhauser the most annoyed look she could give. "You're not sharing that are you?"

"Yep."

"Hand over that phone Clawhauser."

"No way, this is too adorable to give up."

"The least you could do is let me get to know her first but fine. In exchange, how bout I take your picture for my wallpaper?"

"Oh good, we can be each other's wallpapers."

"Wait a second though." She hopped up onto his desk, removing the phone from his hand and handed him a box of donuts. I could see the metaphorical gears turning in her head like an evil genius as she whipped out her phone and began to aim the camera. "Perfect, now can you lean back in your chair for me?"

"I can try I guess."

Given his...added mass, Clawhauser began leaning back in his chair but was having the utmost trouble with it. "Hold it…Hold it."

"Judy I don't think the chair will hold."

"I'm just trying to get the camera in focus."

"Please take the picture before…" Too late, the sound of two loud snaps filled the air. "Uh oh."

Clawhauser fell like a rock to the floor covered in his once edible donuts with a coincidental camera flash following. "That was perfect. Now Clawhauser, you hold that picture and I won't post this one. Deal?"

"I knew that was going to end up somewhere bad."

"Here's your phone." she said handing him back his phone and removing the last two donuts which stayed safely in the box.

"Can you buy me some more donuts?"

"Because we're friends, I'll get you two boxes, promise."

Judy hopped off the desk motioning me to follow as Clawhauser picked himself up. "Don't have too much fun you two!"

I was still excited to be working with my idol, my entire reason for joining the force, although I was concerned for her. She seemed a bit down when she was talking to Clawhauser earlier. Whoever 'he' was had a pretty hard effect on her. _I mustn't get too curious now, it's none of my business after all._ She led me into the now, pitch black night sky. The stars danced among the darkness and moon illuminated even the most vile dreams, peaceful. She led me to her cruiser parked in the very front of the parking lot. "You must get here pretty early." I noted.

"Oh yea, ready to get started bright and early."

Mia took her seat in the passenger side and Judy in her the driver, starting the car and pulling out. "That Clawhauser is quite the character."

"You have no idea. If it weren't for that big lovable cheetah though, I wouldn't be where I am today."

"Everyone here holds a purpose I suppose. I hope I can offer the same companionship."

"Don't doubt yourself, we got all night to really get to know each other."

"That sounds very nice ma'am."

"Hey no ma'am, we're sisters in this business. To start off, let's talk where we're from, you first."

"The Bamboo district ma'am. Me and family moved there just last year."

"You said you're the first to enlist in your family right? What made you want to enlist?"

"Well you see, my family just hit a bit of financial issue. Such a new and culturally beautiful district, requires a large portion of taxes to maintain. We were not so lucky as to keep up with the payments and soon, we will be on the streets. I enlisted in order to find a way to pay for such a fee, but also…I'd-nevermind."

"O...k, well i'm from bunnyburrow."

"Where's that?"

"About a few miles outside the city. Everyone I know is back there, family, childhood friends, it was a really small town we lived in."

"So you're more of the agricultural type?"

"Yes and no. I know how to farm yes, but I always found the city life more exciting."

"I suppose it was the same for me too. We lived in pretty old traditions back east, here it's so advanced and different. Many animals you wouldn't see, many devices you wouldn't find."

"Well then, allow me to introduce you to the city of Zootopia."

From that point, our night took a different turn. You could say our patrol became a bit sidetracked. Judy was ecstatic to show me the many sights, the theater, the various malls and stores, it was quite the adventure. I for one, was never allowed to really venture outside the district so these sights, these animals, these smells and foods, they were all a wonderland of curiosity. After an hour and a half, we arrived at a small store. It was cute, as if it had a personal touch to it. "Where are we?"

"With a dash."

"With a dash?"

"You'll see once we get inside."

And my, did I see alright. It was a very decorative pastry shop. Flavors and displays showcased things I had never even considered, and the aroma of it all was intoxicating. "This is…"

"Amazing isn't it, just wait until you taste it. Hey Gideon you in there."

"Hold your carrots Judy, I'm on my way."

With a yawn, a kinda chubby fox slid out of the back of the shop, a pie in hand. "Heya there Judy, what can I get ya for?"

"2 of your howler special pies please."

"Coming right up. Who's the new uniform?" he asked as he began to remove two distinct blueberry pies from the display.

"Mia Ling, very nice to meet you."

"Well i'll be, listen that accent of yours. Like we're a world away."

"Is it really that noticeable?"

"Almost as noticeable as i'm a pastry salesmen. Gideon Grey, pleased to meet ya." he boxed the pies up and handed them to Judy. "On the house Judy, so the new uniform gets a taste of the best first."

"You gotta stop doing this for me Gideon."

"Is it crime to be nice and advertiser friendly Officer?"

"Nope, thank you." she happily responded knowing that she was getting two free pies.

"That's what I thought. Y'all stay safe out there."

"Nice to meet you again." I said as we exited the store. With the pies in the back seat, we continued to our actual patrol. "They smell divine."

"We'll dig in after our patrol hopefully."

"I can't wait."

"This is Officer Tucker, three suspects lost north of the Zootopia bank, requesting another unit on scene."

Judy was quick to reach for radio and spoke. "Roger Officer Tucker, Officer Hopps responding. You ready for your first taste of action."

"Um...this is a bit quick isn't it."

"Hey, you are the law now, it is what you signed up for. It might seem scary at first, but just remember what you're protecting, what your goal is. They are criminals and we are the law, they deserve nothing better than a steel cage with grey bars. Don't forget that we are sisters with a badge and gun and we will protect each other no matter the cost ok?"

 _That was quite the speech my lord._ "I got it, I'm ready."

She flipped on the sirens taking off down the street. In no time, we were on scene and ready to search…partially. My fear stayed in the back of my mind the entire time but nonetheless, I had to focus. With a quick hop out of the car we focused our flashlights on the area, surveying the area asking anyone if they had seen any suspicious animals around. Turns out that two figures had been seen in the alleyways with a big bag of something. Rushing to investigate, we found nothing in the first, nothing in the second. But as if Judy's bunny ears were sonar, the third alley seemed to have a lot of small sounds coming out of it, shifts in the rocks on the ground and small chatter. She removed her gun and I, my taser, as we cut off our lights and proceeded down the alley slowly. The talking grew louder, the sounds of shifting as well, our suspicious figures I take it. A peek around the wall gave us our description, two figures in the darkness. One stood tall, a white Timber wolf, the other was a fox, noted by his grey fur, a strange pigmentation in the world of Zootopia. They both were dressed in black clothes and ski mask, doing something with the bag that peaked their interest. Maintaining patience and listening to the two talk was all we could do for now. "So what do you think our score was? We didn't drop any did we?" The timber wolf asked.

"Not. A. Single. One. Now we hightail it to the Rainforest district and hit our rendezvous."

Judy's ear twitched at the sound of the voice on this fox, as if it were familiar, way too familiar. No time on that thought though, It was cold, and I wanted to get home and eat that pie. Judy turned and nodded to me, which I returned, whipping around the corner alongside her, gun aimed, and eyes fierce. "Freeze, ZPD!" she bellowed. Both of them stumbled from the surprise before taking off. "I said freeze!" Judy attempted a warning shot only grazing the ground by the wolf by a hair. Without warning they turned and effortlessly began climbing the building grabbing onto ledges, planters, heaters, you name it. We stood there shocked as the two jumped onto the building and made their way over to the next. "Officer Tucker, I got your suspects north of the bank. Attempt to cut them off at a later junction, 23rd street maybe."

"Copy that."

"Let's go Mia!"

"Right!" We took off down the sidewalk, assuming they still were heading the way we saw them go. They were like ninja's, each move they made took us an extra minute more to catch up. You would think with our size, we would have a speed advantage or at least an agility advantage. Proceeding into a long apartment complex, we sprinted to the roof access, up the stairs passing the confused people by. With a hard shove we burst from the door watching as the the two suspects jumped over stopping instantly when they noticed the the two cops standing in their path. I felt a sudden urge to take charge in this moment, no reason why. "Freeze ZPD! Put the money on the ground and put your hands on your head."

Both of them began to oblige until a smirk came across the wolf's face. "Psych!" he yelled, him and his companion in the heat of a zigzag motion and coming right for us. Judy jumped back in surprise as the wolf almost bulldozed over her. I was quick to not allow the fox that luxury though. I took aim with my taser and pulled the trigger only to find the fox flipping effortlessly over me. In all my years of observing Tv shows and documentaries, no criminal had shown such athleticism and agility before, it was stunning. The two of them continued to race across the roof, us in pursuit quickly after. For some reason, the fox couldn't help but look back as he continued to sprint. He lost step with the wolf who was already preparing to jump to another roof. "Keep your head in the game fox!" The wolf shouted.

He realized his mistake and attempted to catch up until I took to all fours and easily caught up with him. Stopping directly in his path, he tripped over me in simplest terms, rolling to the floor with Judy hot on his tail. With a hop, she was on top of him fighting furiously to keep him restrained under her small stature and he did the same to keep her off. In the middle of the struggle, Judy caught hold of his mask and with all her might, she ripped it off. Underneath revealed the face of a grey fox, a red scar over his left eye. Despite the unusual color and scar, she stopped, taking note of all the features on the fox's face. I could see her face twist and turn in confusion, her mind was obviously racing, her breathing was ten times the normal amount. Both of them exchanged looks for a while before he used both of his feet to kick her off. "Nice try bunny." he said before giving her a smug look.

He turned and jumped to the next building, slipping into the darkness of an alley in the distance as Judy stood there, motionless. Tears began to roll down her cheeks, her body fell to her knees. I rushed and slid to her in a fit of concern. "Judy? Judy what's wrong they're getting away?"

"...Nick?"

Suddenly the radio began to buzz with Tucker's voice. "Judy? Judy, what's going on? Where are the suspects?"

"Judy, come on, you heard yourself, we can't let them get away."

"But...I…"

" **Zhì** , I can't take them alone." I removed Judy's radio and spoke with a dissapointment unlike any I'd ever felt. "The suspects are gone, we lost them."


End file.
